Menu Settings

MaryBeth set her coffee cup on the metal coaster on the antique end table and grabbed the remote.  Depressing the large red power button, the screen flickered twice and exploded to life.  The volume felt as if it were booming through a large fog horn.  The burst seemed to rattle the coaster and the metal lamp in the table nearly toppling the coffee mug.

"Steven!  Did you play with this thing last night when I told you just to leave it alone and go to bed?"

Steven stumbled out of the bedroom in his boxers and white t-shirt. His hair in the left side of his head appeared to have been tortured into submission by the pillow sometime in the night.

"I did leave it alone," Steven pleaded while rubbing his eyes.

"The damn thing was turned up to top volume.  I hope the kids didn't wake up.  I was hoping to catch up on the DVR."

MaryBeth began fiddling with the menu settings fighting her way through the sometimes German, sometimes French settings.  "What's with the languages?  I thought you said this TV was Swedish."

"The family is Swedish.  I think the TVER is from some place in Central Europe.  I would tell you where, but I don't want to expose you to my poor knowledge of geography."

"Try me."

"Umm.  Ok. Maybe, Sierra Leone?"

"That's Western Africa."

"Senegal?"

"Nope."

"Yugoslavia?"

"Right area, but no longer a country.  Describe it."

"I think it's a tiny one.  Has that science place and they don't take sides."

"Switzerland."

"Nooooo.  I don't know if that's right"

"It's ok.  I no longer care and just found the English setting."

"Is there more coffee?"  Steven didn't wait for a response and shuffled off to the kitchen.  MaryBeth picked a show and selected to play.  She flicked the jump ahead button and watched the screen flip past a vacuum cleaner commercial.  In the background she saw a ghost shape like her husband silently speed into the dining room hunching over as he stubs his toe in the cabinet in the hall.  The image flickered out an instant later.

MaryBeth blinked her eyes and stared at the empty space.  A moment later, Steven walked out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee before jamming his toe and unleashing a stream of vulgarity not often heard in such a combination.  Coffe splattered onto the floor and on Steven sending him crawling into the kitchen on his hands and knees.

MaryBeth shrugged the scene off and chuckled to herself as she sipped her coffee and enjoyed her show with a background of swearing husband.

CarolAnn's TV

The ad in the paper was cryptic, but not to the point that the cheap price of free could be ignored.  Steven was in need of a TV for his new place and this guy was just giving away a 42" LCD 1080p.  The ad said to call some local number and ask for a Sven or Jorn or something Swedish that Steven could not accurately pronounce. The seller took no offense.

Two days later, Steven lugged the 50 pound thing from his car and carried it into his new home.  He waited with excited anticipation of what his wife and children would say.  They had begged him to do some research and get them a repacement for the 100 pound behemoth currently in their living room that made the entertainment center creak and failed to pick up even local network channels.

Steven worked in sales for a local hardware wholesaler and had no interest in utilizing his experience to haggle on prices in his personal time.  This trait was one that frustrated MaryBeth to no end when he refused to even argue for a discount on the most commonly discounted items.  Robbie's orthodontist likely bought himself a new car with the amount he failed to discount on countless braces tightening and retainer fittings.

He was warned about the TV from the seller.  It had been brought from their home in Sweden and the menus were in Swedish, but it was a great deal for a working TV.  He was assured the reception and playback of high definition video was superb despite the unreal price.

It was priced to move and Steven was willing to be the mover.  He couldn't wait for the afternoon to arrive. What would MaryBeth think of this steal of a deal?  How excited would Robbie be?  What about CarolAnn?