In Case Of Monty...

Em G A
A man came to my door today
At first he didn't have much to say
Then with a wink and a smile he opened his case
And insurance forms were strewn all over the place

He handed me his card, his name was Monty
His hand shake was as steady as it was crushing
The first form showed me pictures of him
Ransacking my neighbors house and killing old Jim

F C G
He pointed at the price on page one
F C B
He showed before after pictures he'd done
He pushed me to my couch, he crushed my favorite chair
He began his pitch as I started to stare
And he said...

G A D
Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmmm Maybe I'll crush you
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm Oh what can you do
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm Maybe I'll kill you
Mmmm mmmm mmmmmm Oh what can you do

The words were confusing but the motions were clear
He emphasized each word while building up fear
He ripped off his bow tie and I saw with a jolt
On the left and the right protruded each bolt

Stuttering I begged him please to just leave
He took my muttering as mocking and started to seize
He tore down my TV, he ripped out the fan
Then he started to cry far too much for a man
He pointed again at the prices quoted
I began to question his violent motive...

G A D
Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmmm crush you
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm what can you do
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm kill you
Mmmm mmmm mmmmmm what can you do

He was green and frightening, he stood ten feet tall
His clothes were hand tailored, he could not shop at the mall
He terrorized people with his tremendous power
But at least he was nice enough to give that poor girl that flower

I settled him down and sat him on the ground
He started to breath heavy, what a frightening sound
His story was sad, his history was grim
He was made in a lab, his career options were slim

The doctor had never given him a name
From a fruit cup, up with a new name he came
His resume was weak, his experience was none
Telemarketing was out, he thought it no fun

I felt sorry for him and we worked out a plan
I bought a policy to protect me from a man
who knew no real father, he had no mother
His first word groaned, villagers he'd smother
When life gave him lemons, he crushed them
He now made his living. when the uninsured saw him

G A D
Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmmm crush you
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm what can you do
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm kill you
Mmmm mmmm mmmmmm what can you do

G A D
Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmmm crush you
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm what can you do
mmmm mmmm mmmmmm low deductible
Mmmm mmmm mmmmmm what can you do